I was running through the reader and spotted this daily prompt. The first thing that popped in my head was the layers of emotions. I am not very good with emotions. I don’t know how to handle them. When an adult is crying I have no idea what to do or say. I’m not a touchy feely person. I have a bubble. Don’t pop my bubble! Sorry kiddos momma can only handle so much daily huggin! High fives are what we mostly do but I do hug my kiddos, just so ya know! I’m not totally mean!
You know how sometimes in some families boys are told to suck it up and walk it off? Well, I was the daughter in that. It was a sign of weakness in my family if you cried or couldn’t handle a situation without your emotions. Now, angry emotions were okay. We can show angry anytime as long as weren’t physical. I take after my dad in that. I guess it goes with him having to basically grow up fast. He lost his father to a heart attack when he was 13 and he had 7 other brothers and sisters so his mom needed all the help she could get. My mom is the emotional one. When she cries I want to run the other way. I don’t know how to handle it. My dad tries to stay away too. So, I can see where I get my attitude with emotions.
I feel that crying won’t make it better. I feel that crying just makes you feel worse. If I need to cry, I cry alone. I don’t want anyone to see my “weakness”. Usually when you see me cry they are tears of I’m so pissed off that you might want to run! I probably sound insensitive and I’m sorry, I really am. I just don’t know how to handle them.
When it comes to my children, that’s a whole other ballgame. I am more empathetic towards children than I am with adults. Adults can take care of themselves whereas children need guidance. Although there are some adults that still need a forward assist (military jargon).
There are many other emotions I go through on a daily basis but I keep to myself. I feel that I burden people when I talk about them. I feel that they feel that they’re obligated to do something or “fix-it”. That doesn’t mean I’m not a good listener. I will listen til my ears fall off. I love a good talk even if there are tears. Just to warn ya though that I may not be the person you’re looking for to help you feel better other to vent.
Please don’t bash me.